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What's wrong with exposing port 22? I have password authentication disabled, ssh keys only. Isn't that secure enough?
I do as well on a non-standard port, although that doesn't really provide any extra security. I found ssh only login acceptably secure personally, but it's definitely less secure than tailscale which can operate with 0 open ports. The risk would be from os/sshd vulnerabilities that can be exploited. As long as you keep the router up to date it should be safe enough.
Why would you expose SSH on a home production server?
Hosting several dockerized apps for friends since years. Only 80/443 proxy ports are open. Apps are secured with 2FA and monitored by fail2ban + kept up-to-date. Never had any issue.
Why not? Openssh has proven itself to be reasonable secure. Porbably more research went into its security then most apps you are hosting.
I think it's not so much "insecure" as that it's that external SSH access is less secure than no access. And for home-managed systems exposed externally, I would recommend a smaller attack area.
It's for the chance that I need to administer my cluster when I am not on my LAN. I can set up a port forward to the externally accessible port and everything works as normal like I'm on my LAN. Non-default port, password auth disabled, ssh with root disabled (so you have to have my user and ssh key) and limited ssh connection attempts before ban. I can toggle it on or off with a check box on my router. Yes, I understand there are other ways that are even more secure, yes I understand the risks, but for my circumstances this was a good balance of convenience and security. I've also never had an issue :).
Add VPN and you made the best out of it :)