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this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2023
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34 years old with two kids.
I spent my 20s working like a horse, and I eventually bought a nice house in a quiet town. I had enough money to go on vacation to Mexico every year with my wife and my kids. Basically, I was living the American dream.
Fast forward a few years later. My wife tells me that she wants a divorce and she is dating the guy she told me not to worry about. Getting divorced means that 50% of my assets go to her, and I need to sell my house. Child support leaves me with little money left at the the of the month.
So, how do I feel? Not bad at all, actually. Have I lost a wife? No, she has been returned. Have I lost my possessions? No, they have been returned.
My children are healthy. They have a good relationship with me and their mother, and they have everything that they need. I am grateful for this. Then, I am aware that they could be taken from me anytime (e.g. sickness). You have to learn how to control your expectations.
As for the future, well whatever that I decide to set my mind to, I will do so with diligence. I'm currently trying to come up with programming projects to keep myself busy. Who knows? I could hit pay dirt, eventually (or not).
Living according to Nature is what I strive for. Everything else is irrelevant.
I'm your age. Basically the same story minus the family. I sometimes regret being alone. It sucks. But I don't think I could handle a women shacking up with someone else and expecting me to pay her. Guess the grass is always greener.
It's okay to be upset about these things. Taking a "life goes on" approach to people who walked all over you is not healthy.
I was upset at first. Human beings have emotions and it's perfectly fine to feel them. You just have to make sure that they don't control you.