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this post was submitted on 17 Mar 2024
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Eliminate weddings all together. Why spend money YOU DON'T HAVE on something YOU DON'T NEED.
Once we buy our house and have spare income. "Wife" and I will have a "wedding" for the friends and family that cared over the decades.
Anyone else? Can get bent. I don't need to host a party and provide you with food to somehow validate our relationship. Thankfully UK honours "living as married" as a valid relationship. So there's no real need to have even civil marriage anymore.
We spent way too much on our wedding, but it is what my wife wanted and her parents were footing the majority of the bill so I was in no position to say no (although I did seriously suggest we take the money and use it as a down payment on a house). I was all for just skipping the wedding altogether and thought it was a waste of money.
But, man, I'm glad we did it. Friends from HS and college all came together, many of whom I hadn't seen in a while and had not hung out altogether in one place for even longer. Family came in from all over. I got to meet a lot of her family I probably would have never met (because they came from other countries). It was a grand party where everyone had a blast that I got to spend with all the people I've loved throughout my life.
You are absolutely right, it was not a practical usage of a lot of money, and I would have been you before my wedding. I certainly think we could have cut a lot of stuff to make it cheaper and I still would have gotten the same enjoyment from it. But foregoing it altogether would have been, in retrospect, a big mistake.
How many years ago was it? But yeah, everyone is different. I have no family and my in-laws would find it hard to visit us. Our friend groups is rather small too. I'm glad you did enjoy it.
More than 12 years ago. And don't get me wrong, I absolutely understand that everyone is different. I was just offering up someone who shared the same opinion, but in the end had a different experience.
Funerals, too.
They're absurdly expensive.
I sincerely hate being invited to one of these huge celebrations, I have to prepare for hours before even starting, wearing clothes that I dislike, at some point I am asked to eat for much longer that usual for nor foreseeable reason. I just eat two small dishes for lunch and 1 and a half for dinner, but I've been in parties where the whole lunch was about 8 consecutive dishes. So over the top. And if you don't eat anything you're probably sitting in a corner since you're one of the few, and when you have hundreds of people in an extra lavish wedding, you end up talking to someone who you never even knew but pretend to do so. After keeping you stuck there for a whole day you're finally home. Am I relaxed? Not really. The last wedding I was invited in we weren't treated properly, on top of having to gift something expensive, wearing fine clothes just for that day and taking hours. Not to mention how drunk some of these people can get. Was it pleasant? No. It wasn't. Also I have a will that I'd wish were respected a little bit more, especially if I have to get back home for other reasons.
In the US, weddings are treated as family reunions and people get pissed if they're not invited. And their spouse, and their children, and of course you better have an open bar so that no one watches said children.
Which is why I had a courthouse marriage and then never told anybody about it.