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this post was submitted on 23 Mar 2024
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I never saw people walk out of a terrible movie in the theater except myself, when my girlfriend, my roommates and I walked out of Johnny Mnemonic. After hearing about the dolphin, I think we made the right move.
Also, I have a people walking out of a good movie story: My dad was a film historian and also wrote movie reviews. The Last Temptation of Christ had just come out. It was only showing in a handful of theaters in the country. We drove up to Chicago to see it. There was a crowd of Christians protesting outside behind a barrier and there was a metal detector and bag search, which was totally unprecedented. While watching the movie, every so often some Christian would get angry and storm out.
I was only 11 at the time (my parents had no idea what was an appropriate movie for a child), so I didn't remember the movie at all when I re-watched it as an adult. But it's not like Scorsese is a bad filmmaker, so of course it was a good movie.
Is that the one with Willem Dafoe dancing around with his dong flopping around?
If you want to put it that way, yes.
I think he does want to put it that way.
But you didn’t get to see how they cleaned up Newark NJ in the future! /s
I can live with that.
Honestly, if someone told me it was the greatest movie they ever saw, I still feel like I did the right thing.
The dolphin?
Apparently there's a dolphin that Johnny needs to connect his cybernetic implant to in order to let it decipher the code that will stop the bomb in his brain from exploding.
That should give you an idea of why I walked out even before there was a dolphin involved.
Oh I know that I've seen the film and footage of the FMV Game that's more-or-less a low budget remake of the movie, I just thought maybe there was some behind the scenes story about the dolphin being mistreated that soured the taste of the film for you.... Kinda like how The Beastmaster was ruined for me when I learned that in order to recreate the black tiger from the book, they covered an actual tiger in lead-based paint who then died after filming from how toxic it was.. (Instead of ya know, just using a shitton of hair dye.) (The sequel would feature a non-book accurate orange tiger not even wanting to risk using simple fur dye, but is still unwatchable on the grounds that it sucks, trying way too hard to be self-parody when it really didn't need to be)
On a similar note, Cannibal Holocaust (I think that's the one) despite being an important film for the history of cinema, is not one I'll watch due to the outright killing of real animals, which include monkeys... that were then eaten on camera. It will forever be one of those cases for me where the story behind the movie is more interesting than the movie itself (Where the violence was so realistic the director was actually put on trial for killing his cast, and had to call them up to prove that he didn't... To be fair he had made them sign contracts forbidding public appearance for a few months to help sell the "Found Footage" gimmick of the film, so it wasn't entirely unbelievable that they were dead)
I'm really not seeing the problem, dolphins are highly intelligent in real life. So much so that experiments to try to get humans and dolphins to talk to each other have been carried out, and I believe they mentioned this dolphin was a genetically engineered one made specifically to hack things, which I can buy because it's the future and a non-human who can stay in a tank all day and do hacker shit for fish is not a terrible investment if such a thing is on the table.
Just because an idea's a little silly doesn't mean it's bad, sorry but this sounds like a you problem.
Considering I saw enough of the rest of the movie to know it's bad, the silly "jack in to a dolphin who can solve a code to stop a bomb in your brain from exploding" plot arc is, to me, a good reason to not have watched the rest.
"We put a bomb in your brain" is stupid enough.
Poor Keanu. He really picked some stinkers for a while.
Th... That's the plot of the movie though, that he is a courier who smuggles illicit data in his brain that would otherwise be found if hidden in machines, and the data had a self-destruct on it like sensitive data can in real life.... It's just in real life it's usually just the data that gets destroyed, not the medium it's stored in (Though that can be arranged with the right virus)
It sounds like you just didn't understand the film.
Believe it or not someone can fully understand the plot of a movie and find it to not be worth watching. Especially when that movie is rocking an 18% on rotten tomatoes.
Don't act that way.
I know it’s the plot. I’m not sure why you think that necessary makes it not a terrible and very silly movie.
I don't remember the movie, but in the short story a drug addicted cyborg dolphin the made to detect and defuse mines and then abandoned after it lived out it's usefulness. It gained increased intelligence and the ability to sense electronic phenomenon. Classic cyberpunk dark transhumanism.