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Women Should Just Be Honest
(sh.itjust.works)
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this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2024
720 points (80.8% liked)
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Unironically women should be able to say no instead of just ghosting nonstop, just say literally anything. Communication benefits both sides
yeah, would be nice, but won't happen when there's such a big chance the guy might snap and attack them. obviously women aren't stupid and quickly learn to avoid being attacked.
How often do these attacks happen in real life? I am genuinely curious about the statistics and occurrences as I have daughters and want them to be safe.
I would say you want them to be prepared for people that won’t take no for an answer in a variety of situations. Understanding boundaries and when people will push and manipulate them, this is a real good skill to have in life in general as well. It doesn’t hurt to have a repertoire in self-defense. But yeah, it happens fairly often if you aren’t assertive and often enough even if you are.
1 in 2 women will experience some form of sexual harassment during their lifetime. This ranges from verbal harassment, like in the comic, to stalking, doxxing, assault, rape, and in rare cases even murder.
1 in 4 women will experience sexual assault—that is, rape or attempted rape—during their lifetime.
Keep in mind these are reported statistics. Also keep in mind that the more serious issues usually are perpetrated by someone the woman knows.
Something else to mention: 1 in 26 men reported sexual assault. While women do make up the overwhelming number of cases, men can be victims too. The main difference is women are far more likely to be physically abused or killed.
But also that implies women aren’t giving reasons or saying to back off and those are just being ignored or twisted. Do some women ghost? Yes I’m certain. Is every ghosting you hear a man talk about actually a ghosting? No I’m very certain because I recently had a friend go through this where she kept telling a guy that she’s not interested in ways that were trying to be nice about it as he’s an emotionally unstable gun nut and he just didn’t get it until she point blank told him never to reach out to her again, never to speak to her again, and then had a male friend say the same.
The whole thing reminded me of the missing missing reasons
By ghosting do you mean one time they don't respond and you move on with your life, or do you mean you reach out multiple times and they don't respond?
You can pretty quickly determine when you've been blocked, that's how most people ghost.
Blocking and ghosting are pretty clear "no" then?
Blocking seems pretty clear to me (if the other person knows they're blocked). Just not replying much less so.
Agreed. One of my friends has a three strike rule. If three messages are ignored you're not a priority, so why waste your time?
No, woman have to be passive-aggressive, because there are so many psychotic men! It's like you didn't even read the comic or something.
Are you being sarcastic? Because there are. It doesn't take a majority to make it make women scared to be honest, just a few percentage and a few really bad experiences will make you scared.
In what other circumstances would that be OK?
Say, if I were attacked a few times by the same minority, would it be okay for me to look at any person of said minority as a potential attacker?
Actually, let's combine both things - let's say I'm a woman who has been sexually harrsed by a minority a few time, would it be okay for me to view all males from said minority as potential sexual harassers?
That's kind of, not really understanding the power dynamic at work, here. With minorities, being afraid of them is, probably silly, because there's a power dynamic there that's usually in, I'm assuming your example is like, a white person, usually in their favor. This is made more complicated if it's a dynamic between women and men. You know, variable depending on where you go and who you ask to what extent women have less power than men, both, societally, and physically, but certainly, that gap still exists. Especially in social conditioning, which I think is sort of, not really brought up very commonly, but definitely exists. I think the last thread I saw on lemmy about the "sexual divide" was something about true crime, and I think the extreme gendered gap in true crime kind of showcases this difference in social conditioning.
Which isn't like, "not real" or anything, that social conditioning is still a real, physical, tangible thing that exists in people's lives and shapes who they are, it's not as though they can stop believing it just because they're presented with like, a bunch of evidence to the contrary, such is the power and trauma of personal experience.
Sort of core to your question is the problem of like, why white women will call the police because they're afraid of some black dude or racial minority doing anything. Or, why white women are commonly used as a kind of, object which justifies racial violence, even going back to lynchings which take place as a result of like, false rape accusations. I think it's pretty obvious that the inverse of that isn't like, oh, well, we should just let women get raped, or something, right. That's not what you said really at all, but that's my very heavy-handed and probably stupid example of sort of, how you can see the flaws in that dynamic, there, the flaws in that like, framing. One does not lend itself to the other.
Basically, I'm just saying that you can't use racism as a metaphor for sexism, because they're not the same, and they can both intersect.