While it might feel rough for you, it's worth remembering that a lot of women have faced very real threats of violence for their upfront honesty.

If you're only getting vague signals then maybe that's the sign that she's not fully into you.

vague signals

If a woman gives me vague signals it's a sign that she's not right for me. Everything other than a "hell yes" is a no. Which is fine, I'm okay with being alone. But I'm not going to chase someone who hints that they're into me, because I'm too damn old for that shit.

It’s also a bit like the job market in some professions. The good ones are more likely to be taken, so you have a magnifying effect on people who tend not to have successful relationships.

People are not very effective communicators.

Ghosting is also another issue that’s honestly just disrespectful.

Maybe it's because I'm a zoomer, but ghosting for me is just kind of expected. It's mildly frustrating to encounter someone who doesn't really reciprocate your feelings or what have you, and it's maybe more disrespectful if it happens like, after the second or third date, but if someone ghosts you after the first date, I don't really think it matters that much. Certainly, I'd rather not have to confront it than have them tell me that they're not interested. That's not really a satisfying answer, "they're not interested", right. It makes you want to ask "why", but realistically they're not going to be able to give you a reasonable, realistic, actionable answer. They're just gonna be pulling stuff outta their ass. So I don't really care all that much, I don't think it matters.

Thank you. This is just a reaction shitty people can have regardless of gender. If their fragile ego can't handle a rejection they go to anger and insults immediately. So bizarre.

Seriously, all the same 'plays' too:

• lol rofl you think I was actually asking?
• you're ugly anyway
• (if the rejection is based on you already being in a relationship) she's ugly, you'll never find someone as hot as me
• (if you're single) you're gay/you're a f*ggot
• (slur related to your race, more common if the rejected is of a different race)

Yeah as a woman who gets plenty of women. Women want to fuck too. If the lady you’re hitting on isn’t reciprocating that’s cool find one who is.

Also your mental and emotional shit being together is way more attractive than it has any right to be. I’m not kidding, I’m moderately attractive but the fact that I can take no for an answer, clean my bathroom, and introspect on my emotions does wonders with the women already attracted to me.

Remember you aren’t gonna turn a no into a yes, but you can turn a yes into a no or a no into a restraining order.

It is a rejection. No reason to bend the language.

The key thing is a rejection doesn’t have to be some judgment on your whole self worth. It’s a problem when you put so much energy into it.

Instead of waiting until you’ve written your whole life story with her in the role of The Mother of Your Children, or The One Who’s Gonna Make You Cool Via Sex, just think of her as a girl it might be fun to hang out with this afternoon. And if she doesn’t want to, no biggie.

It’s investing all this energy, turning the asking out into this big emotional event, that’s the problem.

yeah, would be nice, but won't happen when there's such a big chance the guy might snap and attack them. obviously women aren't stupid and quickly learn to avoid being attacked.

But also that implies women aren’t giving reasons or saying to back off and those are just being ignored or twisted. Do some women ghost? Yes I’m certain. Is every ghosting you hear a man talk about actually a ghosting? No I’m very certain because I recently had a friend go through this where she kept telling a guy that she’s not interested in ways that were trying to be nice about it as he’s an emotionally unstable gun nut and he just didn’t get it until she point blank told him never to reach out to her again, never to speak to her again, and then had a male friend say the same.

The whole thing reminded me of the missing missing reasons