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this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2024
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What the everliving fuck. Of course I ask all my partners to give consent before I add someone new to my polycule. Every single time. Do you add new people to your polycule without consulting your partners just because they're polyamorous? That's cheating.
I don't have to "tell" my partners I'm poly, because I don't cheat. If you think you can just tell your partners you're poly and then date whoever you want, you're wrong and that's a dangerous belief. Please never tell anyone else that polyamoury works like that, because it doesn't. I've had to educate far too many partners who thought like you and would have cheated on me if I hadn't been careful to establish explicit boundaries.
Congrats on completely avoiding the point I was making. You're outright telling someone you're poly, because you know the expectation is that you're not, because it isn't the norm.
No, I've actually only ever had two partners who were monoamorous by default. The first two. Everyone afterwards immediately knew I was poly without having to be told. And was poly too. I mean I would have asked them to consent to being metamours with all my existing partners anyway so definitely no cheating since you brought that weird point up. But if you're now deciding the point is people's assumptions, everyone I know assumes people are poly. If someone in my circles is monoam they actually have it listed in their bio so everyone knows not to flirt with them.
Sounds like I just have gayer friends than you do and you're assuming everyone is like your boring friends.
Do you even have any otherkin friends?
I guess you're all mind readers huh?
Why would they do that?
The fuck does that even mean?
Do you even do therapy? Jesus fuck. You've gotta be trolling.
Here's your badge: 🤡
Are you okay mate? This is not the diction of a stable person. Gotta be a troll.
For sure homie.
Some sort of god complex? Get help.
Or, a 10/10 troll. Unsure.
Decent point, but I also think it’s good to explicitly discuss monogamy as well. Even if you don’t use that word but only say “are we in a relationship”, it’s good to define the moment when the exclusivity begins.
For example I’ve had one date with a woman, and she was busy on my second attempt. I’d love to see her again but I’m unsure whether I will. Would I be a cheater if I went on a date with another woman right now?
If you didn't enter a relationship with them, then it is not technically cheating. However, if you really like them to a point where you'd like to be in a relationship with them, then the decent & morally right thing would still be to wait with dating other people. This is similar to people who just broke up. You're expected to still have emotional feelings to your former partner and while you're technically single now it would still be very weird if you'd just hop onto the next person because it questions the honesty behind your feelings for said person. It's simply decency, not just towards others, but also towards yourself. Either way, in your example I would at the very least communicate whether they'd be okay with you dating other people if you're at a point where there's clearly something going on between the two of you.