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this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2024
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It's important to note that the attraction to kids, and actually diddling them, are technically separate things.
No normal person has trouble not raping people of the opposite gender, no matter how wild their libido gets.
So while research has essentially proven that the condition itself can't be cured, it doesn't automatically mean a person also wants to rape.
It's when those two things go wrong at the same time, that you get a monster.
So basically, teach consent. If you don't raise a rapist, they're not gonna end up a child molester, even if they feel the attraction.
Also "fixing it by the time someone is 10" is gonna be difficult. People tend to be attracted to people their own age, so what, is a 14-year-old a pedo if they do something with a classmate?
To add on to this, many people who do commit horrible acts against children aren't pedophiles, in the sense that they are sexually attracted to children. Many of them are sexual sadists who are aroused by the act of inflicting pain and abuse, instead.
Oop... ooh boy here we go with the twitter/reddit talking points 😬
There is zero amount of attraction you can have to kids before you become a monster. The only difference between a MAP and a chomo is time. I'm honestly floored here of all places you would see pedo apologia like this, but the federation has been disappointing me a lot recently.
EDIT: Wait what?? I didn't read this until now but "People are attracted to people their own age" maybe it's just my asexuality talking but i'm pretty sure you don't feel "attraction" until your sex juices start flowing. One thing I do remember as a kid was feeling socially pressured to go out with girls even though I was prepubescent and had no interest in that sort of thing, and not understanding why I didn't feel like I had to. Wasn't until I was a full on adult that I started to realize just how much western society low-key pushes pedophilia onto you.
EDIT2: I'm appalled by the reception of this comment and by the fact that the original comment has been allowed to stay up. Allowing pedophile talking points is going to cause permanent damage to both the quality of the community and to the legitimacy of Lemmy as a whole. How are you going to convince normal people to join this site when stuff like this is heavily upvoted?? I sure as hell don't feel safe and i'm sure many others would feel the same way.
EDIT3: I just looked at the guy's profile and you all ought to be ashamed of yourselves. It's like 90% anime shit.
The fact that you're ace explains a bit. You simply have no experience with this.
When I was 14, I was horny as hell. My "sex juices" were most certainly flowing. I crushed on several girls in school but at that age I was far too awkward to even speak to them. Let alone know what to do with my frustration aside from masturbate.
Not allowing my libido to drive me to hurting someone is the easiest thing ever. It was then, still is today. (No, I do not feel a need to fuck a 14-year-old, I sleep with adults around my own age)
Nothing about the research into pedophilia suggests that their libidos work in some different way. If you're a moral person who doesn't want to hurt anyone, you will do your best not to. And not having sex with children is a pretty easy call to make.
I'll be the first to admit that I don't exactly think clearly when turned on, but it has never, ever, even in a years-long dry spell, led me to even slightly consider actually doing something with someone without their consent.
Nothing you can tell me can convince me that a person who doesn't want to hurt others, can be made to do so by their sex drive.
Especially considering you don't even know what having a libido feels like.
You're just assuming I don't feel attraction. I do, I just don't feel attracted to children. Ace people aren't fucking robots you know.
You need to take the appropriate steps to make sure you don't either because it's only a matter of time before you end up acting on it. Normal people don't feel this overpowering pull you're describing and you need to understand that it's impossible to be virtuous while doing nothing to rid yourself of it.
You are making some olympic mental gymnastics level assumptions about me there.
I know you can be attracted to others. What my libido does is only one component in how I feel about someone, and often the least useful. But by definition it is a component ace people don't need/get to worry about.
You definitely have no experience with the "urges" of a sex drive, because there is literally no way they can take control of a person to the extent they commit crimes before they realize what they are doing is wrong. That's not a thing.
How the fuck did you get "overpowering" from my expressing the ease at which they are suppressed?
If child molesters were somehow driven by a cerebral malfunction they can't do anything about, they'd be pitiable, not monsters worthy of death. They chose to do it.
I've had enough of this. Please find help.
For what?
What is it you fear I will do if I don't? Educate people more?
If I was what you seem to be suggesting I am, do you even know what "help" would be? I do.
yo, Just wanted to give you props for remaining far calmer in this discussion than I would've been able to.
Yeah...
Looking at the edits they made to their initial comment. I'm not sure where to even start explaining why they're wrong about this.
Apparently liking anime is damning evidence to this person, and their point about feeling unsafe is hilarious considering their attempts at lumping me together with the worst of the worst in order to boost their own position.
Nevermind the actual risk to my safety it could be if they succeed.
You are in the wrong side of this.Theres a German doc shedding some light on this issue:
https://youtu.be/vogs4NzqI3Q (money quote around 7:07), basically "half the perpetrators of child sexual abuse do not feel an attraction to kids. On the other hand, half the people who do feel attracted to kids do not become perpetrators."
Basically, half the people abusing kids don't do so because they're attracted to kids but presumably because they're easier victims whereas half the people getting attracted to life feel disgusted by themselves.
It's, for all that we know, as congenital as being straight or queer. Now, with queer and straight preference, you don't necessarily run into consent problems. Imagine you notice yourself being attracted to, idk, 15-year-olds. You're otherwise a reasonably well adjusted human being. That's gotta be devastating. You can't help it, you were born this way. There's no redemption arc here, the only thing you can do is just never ever give in to this feeling.
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
https://piped.video/vogs4NzqI3Q
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
Also, to make it very clear, at no point did I say being turned on by kids is ok.
I said the condition itself doesn't automatically turn a person into a rapist, the same way a normal sex drive doesn't either.
Seriously, look it up, "treatments" for pedophilia, boiled down, is literally just consent training, and it works. Not in the sense that the libido goes away (though that can be done medically) but in the sense that these people do not then go on to rape anyone, children or otherwise.
You can't just apply your experience to everyone especially if your experience is not the typical one as you've stated you're asexual. Nothing wrong with being asexual, but that's not the typical state most people are in.
That aside the example was 14 years old, your "sex juices" are absolutely "flowing" at that point.
You wouldn't have a point even if my user history was 100% anime. If "they like anime" is the most damning comeback you can come up with, I'm not sure where to even begin setting you straight.
It's pretty clear that actual level-headed discussion by people who have looked into the reasearch on this is something that sets off a raging hate-boner for you, completely preventing you from actually considering what is being said.
Your very first edit revealed you didn't even read my full comment before responding. I'm not sure you've fully understood any part of what I've said, or you'd be attempting and failing to dismantle my argument, instead of attempting and failing to dismantle my character.
You're being downvoted because you're simply wrong on this, and being a hateful asshole about it to boot.
I'm going to respond to your last point. First, Jackie Chan wtf meme. Second, kids becoming sexually aware while they are the same age and want to experiment, fine whatever. My point was older people taking advantage of straight up kids between ages of months to 17 years old. That's not a typo, i said months because there are straight up fuckin monsters out there. I wish there was something, say vaccine ( i know, controversial) or another form of medicine that could remove the urges or feelings that a potential pedo might have later in life before it's too late. That's why i said age 10, since i don't think kids become aware of their body until they hit puberty.
So, like a no-attraction-towards-less-than-18-year-olds-allowed-vaccine that we just give everyone? That would work.
You don't need to be passive aggressive about mentioning months. I know. I can also tell you that unfortunately the condition isn't chemical. People are born with it.
My point is that you only get a molester when they have the condition, and also lack the control that all the rest of us have for not raping people. As such, removing the urges is only solving half the problem. You'd still be letting people who'd rape adults through the cracks.
Dealing with those types of people would counter both pedos, and rapists in general.
Consent training is the real solution, and is what actual "treatment" for pedos seeking help currently consists of, and in some cases just total libido suppression through medical means.
Is that something done in the US? I was always under the impression that it's just prison. You can't even talk to a therapist about it because they have a duty to report you so again, prison.
But I can't exactly claim to be an expert, it's just what I've gathered from these conversations as they pop up over the years on reddit or whatever.
It varies by a lot. It doesn't help that the research is scarce and seldom consulted on legislation.
I think a lot of people afflicted just never tell anyone. As long as you're otherwise stable and in control of yourself, anyone who has only that one thing wrong about them, could extremely easily take it to the grave. It's by far the best option to live a decent life.
If you don't need someone else to stop you from acting on it, why tell anyone, ever? It can't be cured, so the only "help" available is to teach you self-control, or like you say, in some places, prison. If you're among the 99% of people who already have self-control figured out, why speak up and just complicate your life?