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Selfhosted
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I use porkbun.com for my domains, which is excellent, and also has glue record support.
https://kb.porkbun.com/article/112-how-to-host-your-own-nameservers-with-glue-records
I just switched to porkbun. Saves me about 20EUR per year. Thanks for the tip.
I missed the keyword "glue records". Ultimately I managed to get my dns server to work but decided against using it for now as the acme plugin is not able to do what I want. https://github.com/mariuskimmina/coredns-tlsplus/issues/2
Yeah porkbun is good.
To see how the glue records work, you can run
dig +trace example.com
This answer goes into detail how it works behind the scenes.
https://superuser.com/questions/715632/how-does-dig-trace-actually-work