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this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2023
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What do you do about those people who have spent a lifetime crafting how to best piss in someone's face while still superficially appearing reasonable and polite? Myself, I tell them to go eat a fuck. They're not as clever or nearly as decent as they work so hard to believe. It's just a device that allows them to feel superior and discount others. That's why it's so loved by narcissists.
Family, friends are special people in our lives and so they get special treatment. They aren't just any people you can throw away, sever ties with and block. If the relationship between you evolved into ping-pong of requests and demands, it's unhealthy relationship and you need to put the effort and at least try to make it work. It works both way - the same is expected of them.
You may fail at that, they may fail at that, you all mail fail, unfortunately, but this is in no way the reason to feel good about it, no "victory", no "yay!" achievement.
To see people announcing in public that they got rid of their closest family because they "didn't respect my pronouns", said in a scornful tone... No. This is wrong. It's a clear indication of a flawed life.
You may think otherwise, you may disagree - I have no problem with that, feel free to go about your way, while clicking "block user". But don't argue with me that I am wrong about my thinking, because there are no arguments that will change my opinion on this topic.
Surely you must see that each case is nuanced and having a blanket statement for everyone is just naive? Saying "you must work hard at your family relationships simply because they are family" is just as generalized as "you have the agency to block out family members when they wrong you."
The world is shades of grey and having a staunch, polarized opinion is limiting oneself.
I am well aware of that.
But I'm also aware of the fact that everyone has enough time to present their story in the Internet with all the nuances included. Nobody in the Internet is obliged to be a telepath - the correct framing of the story is its author's responsibility. If they choose to be scornful towards their own family with "they didn't accept my pronouns" as the only argument, then they deserve as much scorn too.