15
Anon manages the impossible
(programming.dev)
For those that can't read the image:
>playing some mtg with my college group that meets up at my best friend's every friday
>one of the players asks if his friend can join next time we play
>nobody has a problem with it
>next friday rolls around
>everybody gets set up
>knock on the door
>best friend opens the door
>immediate regret
>actual fucking fecal smell emanates from this mass of unkempt hairy adipose
>try my god damndest to be polite and try to ignore the smell and just play.
>he picks up the game pretty quickly, and thankfully he doesn't speak too often because each time he opens his mouth the halitose burns my nostrils.
>we tolerate this for exactly 10 minutes before the poli-sci dude in our group slams his can of altoids on the plaguelord's side of the table and blurts "do not fucking speak in my direction again until you've fucking emptied this your breath smells like death."
>dead fucking silence for 10 seconds.
>plaguelord gets up, apologizes, and leaves
>we try to pretend this never happened.
>next week rolls around, its still on everyone's mind.
>knock on the door
>takes a few moments to recognize the stranger in front of us
>holy shit its the plaguelord, and he's fucking clean
>completely shaved his patchy neckbeard
>is wearing what looks like a brand new clothes, his jeans even still have a sticker on them
>smells vaguely like strawberries instead of rotten onions
>teeth still stained but the halitose is completely gone and replaced with mint.
>apologized for last week, asked if he could play again
>fast forward a few months and now he's a regular at our table, he even brings homemade snacks.
Has this ever happened in your groups or is this some sort of anomaly/divine intervention?
Back when I was younger in college there was a guy who was very socially awkward and unfortunately had a stink that could be smelt from the opposite end of a long corridor. He used to hang out with another kid who had learning difficulties. One day one of the least nice people in my class said to smelly guy "Jesus Christ, why don't you go take a shower, you stink!" and this caused smelly guy to go bright red in the face and storm off.
Cut to after class and a bunch of us go to the communal area of the college and hang out. Smelly guy walks into the area and walks up to his friend all flustered. His friend asks "Are you alright?" And smelly guy says "Someone told me I need a shower because I smell", friend says very timidly "it might be a good idea." Smelly guy goes bright red and storms off again.
He comes back after about 10 minutes and walks up to his friend and pulls out two cans of deodorant and shouts "YOU THINK I SMELL?!" And proceeds to spray the deodorant over himself in a rage...but then turns on his friend and sprays him like crazy. Everyone around is in shock and smelly guy throws the cans on the floor and storms out of the building. We can all see him out the window and he walks up to a bin and kick it, it doesn't move (secured to the ground) and he falls over, gets up and runs off. We didn't see him for the rest of the week.
The following week he turns up and his hair has been cut, he has new clothes and his aura of stink is gone. People just casually say hi and over the remaining time we were at college people started to talk to him more and were more polite towards him. He'd still hang out with his friend so I suspect that outburst was water under the bridge.
I hope ex-smelly guy is alright in life. That must have been quite the turning point for him.