15
Anon manages the impossible
(programming.dev)
For those that can't read the image:
>playing some mtg with my college group that meets up at my best friend's every friday
>one of the players asks if his friend can join next time we play
>nobody has a problem with it
>next friday rolls around
>everybody gets set up
>knock on the door
>best friend opens the door
>immediate regret
>actual fucking fecal smell emanates from this mass of unkempt hairy adipose
>try my god damndest to be polite and try to ignore the smell and just play.
>he picks up the game pretty quickly, and thankfully he doesn't speak too often because each time he opens his mouth the halitose burns my nostrils.
>we tolerate this for exactly 10 minutes before the poli-sci dude in our group slams his can of altoids on the plaguelord's side of the table and blurts "do not fucking speak in my direction again until you've fucking emptied this your breath smells like death."
>dead fucking silence for 10 seconds.
>plaguelord gets up, apologizes, and leaves
>we try to pretend this never happened.
>next week rolls around, its still on everyone's mind.
>knock on the door
>takes a few moments to recognize the stranger in front of us
>holy shit its the plaguelord, and he's fucking clean
>completely shaved his patchy neckbeard
>is wearing what looks like a brand new clothes, his jeans even still have a sticker on them
>smells vaguely like strawberries instead of rotten onions
>teeth still stained but the halitose is completely gone and replaced with mint.
>apologized for last week, asked if he could play again
>fast forward a few months and now he's a regular at our table, he even brings homemade snacks.
Has this ever happened in your groups or is this some sort of anomaly/divine intervention?
Tbh, this is me, and I totally get it; I have undersized sinuses so my sense of smell is sometimes less than it should be, and I prefer to not shower because I always feel like I'm freezing when I get out until I dry off. That said, I'm not trying to be disgusting, and actually appreciate if someone politely reminds me to shower because I'm too absentminded to remember to at least shower once a week and before going somewhere with a lot of people. I absolutely will get myself cleaned up if you ask nicely, I don't appreciate cigarette smoke myself partly because it stinks (I don't smoke and neither do any of my family, but unfortunately it's pretty common here for complete strangers to do so in front of doorways to stores) so I can understand if something about me smells gross and you need me to wash.
Interestingly, there's evidence that showering every day is actually too much and it should be twice/thrice a week (essentially every two days) instead. If I could meet that standard on my own, I would, and I'm thankful to be able to explain myself here even if no relevant person will ever see it.
Thanks to OP for this green text. Sometimes people do need it bluntly, I became a better person overall in 2015 because someone who did care about me pointed out some things I'd done that were hurting the people around me in subtle ways.