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When dating, "Just be confident" is just bad advice if you ask me. (lemm.ee)

submitted 5 months ago by throwawaysalami@lemm.ee to c/casualconversation@lemm.ee

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"Being confident" is dangerously close to straight up bothering people. Plus it only really works if you're good looking.

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[-] Usernameblankface@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago

The tricky thing I've noticed in myself is, feeling like a bother or a burden makes me a bother or a burden. Going in feeling like they will be bothered makes me act in awkward ways that is a bother to others. Trying to enter a conversation despite feeling like I'm going to be a burden is similar, I'm just relying on their charity or hoping they don't notice that I'm a burden. Super awkward.

Entering a conversation believing they want to talk but also willing to leave if the vibes aren't right seems to be the best balance for me.