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this post was submitted on 07 May 2024
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Have they done any investigation into the cause of her illness? I have no sympathy for this man. If anything, I would be questioning the cause of her illness after hearing that he attempted to kill her multiple times. There are a lot of toxins that can damage a person’s kidneys. I didn’t trust eating my husband’s cooking after he announced that he would rather have a mail order bride from Eastern Europe, or Russia, instead of me. I guess only the blood bank would know if he ever did anything to me. That one time I was seriously ill, vomiting, with diarrhea, and it only lasted one day, I had to question his motive for demanding to make dinner the night before that.
You haven't left him yet?
I filed for divorce twice, but each time, he would disappear right before the last court ruling to finalize it. The judge threw out my last attempt at divorce because he wouldn’t show up. He showed up to divide assets because he wanted one of the cars in his name. He ditched out on the last court date and now we’re still legally married. We have been separated for almost seven years now. I’m still not free from him, though. He has had his friends using his license and email accounts to terrorize me. I don’t know where he is now. All I can figure is that he found that mail order bride of his dreams and swapped ID’s with one of his single friends to have a chance with her. That, or he got into a fight while drunk, again, and some guy beat him to death. I want to file a missing person’s report just to have some legal closure and remove my name from anything that could legally bind me to him. Others say I should let it go. If he has some DUI and hurts, or kills, another person because of it, I could be sued. Honestly, I have nothing left even before a lawsuit.
I remember you, I saw your post a few days ago. I am sorry for your situation. I hope you ended up filing the police report over the stolen car. It sounds like his friends did murder him. Hopefully if so you can get finality.
I really hope they didn’t. I first thought it was some cruel joke by my husband because he was unhappy with our marriage. I felt really ashamed to tell others about it. It also made me look crazy when they would pull out his license and insist they were my husband, to anyone that would question them about it. They would insist that they just grew their hair slightly longer, or that they had decided not to shave for a while. My husband did submit dna to an ancestry site years ago, and it would prove that his friends stole his identity, or are misusing it, at least. My husband is nearly 100% Eastern European, and his friends were not. They all have the same tattoo on their bicep. One of them has it backwards, and I called him out on it. I think that was the one that grabbed me by the hair and slammed my head against the wall, years ago.
I’m starting to think it’s less of a team effort on some cruel joke against me, and more of a team effort by them to have him robbed of his car and other items.
I think you’re right. I’m going to have to report him missing. It’s going to be humiliating, because they’ll probably just find him under some girl, in the county where his mom lives.
You have a hard road. My aunt had a parallel type of situation. Her husband became an FBI fugitive for some very bad decisions. Not a bad man, just very poor judgement. She had to declare him missing.
I wish you some kind of swift resolution. Please know this: it is hard, but manageable. Others have made similar journeys. Get help as you can and find your own strength. You can get through this to find peace again.
Thank you. I’m going to declare him missing soon. I’m just bracing myself for the embarrassment when he is found with some other woman, or perhaps even a new family, at this point.
If I can offer something...
Those are not your embarrassment. My father confessed to his other daughter only as he was dying. She was 30 at the time - I was over 40. He had hidden her from us for all that time, disguising all of his time with her as business meetings.
Before he died, my mom got to hold HIS first grandchild while she still had none. She held my stepsister blameless - all she had done was be born. And my mom cried at my father's wake - they had a lot of years together, and some were good. But we've all moved on. It's been 20 years since he died.
My advice is to let the past stay in the past. It was, and reliving it won't make it different. Be in the now and work towards your better future. I truly wish you peace on your journey. We all find it in the end.