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this post was submitted on 07 May 2024
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I really hope they didn’t. I first thought it was some cruel joke by my husband because he was unhappy with our marriage. I felt really ashamed to tell others about it. It also made me look crazy when they would pull out his license and insist they were my husband, to anyone that would question them about it. They would insist that they just grew their hair slightly longer, or that they had decided not to shave for a while. My husband did submit dna to an ancestry site years ago, and it would prove that his friends stole his identity, or are misusing it, at least. My husband is nearly 100% Eastern European, and his friends were not. They all have the same tattoo on their bicep. One of them has it backwards, and I called him out on it. I think that was the one that grabbed me by the hair and slammed my head against the wall, years ago.
I’m starting to think it’s less of a team effort on some cruel joke against me, and more of a team effort by them to have him robbed of his car and other items.
I think you’re right. I’m going to have to report him missing. It’s going to be humiliating, because they’ll probably just find him under some girl, in the county where his mom lives.
You have a hard road. My aunt had a parallel type of situation. Her husband became an FBI fugitive for some very bad decisions. Not a bad man, just very poor judgement. She had to declare him missing.
I wish you some kind of swift resolution. Please know this: it is hard, but manageable. Others have made similar journeys. Get help as you can and find your own strength. You can get through this to find peace again.
Thank you. I’m going to declare him missing soon. I’m just bracing myself for the embarrassment when he is found with some other woman, or perhaps even a new family, at this point.
If I can offer something...
Those are not your embarrassment. My father confessed to his other daughter only as he was dying. She was 30 at the time - I was over 40. He had hidden her from us for all that time, disguising all of his time with her as business meetings.
Before he died, my mom got to hold HIS first grandchild while she still had none. She held my stepsister blameless - all she had done was be born. And my mom cried at my father's wake - they had a lot of years together, and some were good. But we've all moved on. It's been 20 years since he died.
My advice is to let the past stay in the past. It was, and reliving it won't make it different. Be in the now and work towards your better future. I truly wish you peace on your journey. We all find it in the end.