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Who the hell cuts their pizza into fifths?
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this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2023
502 points (93.7% liked)
Mildly Infuriating
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People who buy frozen pizza and think it’s enjoyable
I don't eat it because it's enjoyable, I eat it because I've been laying in bed all day trying to get my depressed ass up in a futile attempt to prove to myself that I can indeed be functioning & productive member of society, until I reluctantly accept the fact that it will never ever happen and that I am in fact required to ingest some sort of food in order to survive. So I throw a frozen pizza in the oven
Brother, let me try and help you out.
Next time you're in the supermarket stocking up on frozen pizzas, get your self a packet of grated pizza cheese, and some extra sliced ham, and / or fresh peppers. Pile on the extra cheese, ham, and slice up the peppers if you decided on those, put it in the oven as usual, but for a few minutes extra.
The overdose of cheese, and extra flavours will have you feeling a lot better!
Genuinely wholesome advice, thank you <3
Do what @spooner said, but get a loaf of sliced high-fiber bread. (In the US you can even find white bread that's high-fiber.) That way you can make toast if you're too depressed to wait for the oven. If you can afford microwaveable turkey or chicken bacon and pre-boiled eggs then you'll have a reasonably healthy breakfast in just a couple minutes. [edit: do not put the pre-boiled eggs in the microwave! lel] Add canned fruit (with no sugar added) for dessert.
Or visit the salad bar. You can get a nice container of exactly however much ingredients you want to add to your pizza, already cut up and ready to go
Everyone thinks you’re choosing a healthy meal; you know you’re choosing a better tasting pizza with minimal effort
Too real
frozen pizza is enjoyable you cunt.
Oh so you cut your pizza into 5 slices then.