106

Ryder, the local young leader of the Paw Patrol, has long been a fixture in Adventure Bay. He is often seen gallivanting around town with his high-tech ATVs or overseeing operations in his pup-filled command center. However, recent concerns about his upbringing have left many locals bewildered and wondering where the hell are Ryder’s parents?

“I see that kid zooming around town on his ATV at all hours of the day and night,” expressed one concerned citizen. “Doesn’t he have a bedtime? And where are his parents when he’s operating heavy machinery without any formal training? I have never even heard his parents being referenced, let alone seen proof that they exist. The kid can’t be more than 10 years old! Where are social services?”

Read the rest of the satire news article here on TattletaleTimes.com

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 43 points 6 months ago

My head canon is that he's a severely autistic teenager with billionaire tech parents that develop AI-based autonomous robotic helpers. They gave him a bunch (mostly dog shaped) and a literal warehouse built to be Adventure Bay, so he lives out his days happy and "helping people" with his pups. In reality he's beta testing his parents' prototypes with edge cases no regular user could even think to come up with. The show is what Ryder thinks is happening, but it's 50% in his head, and 50% enabled by his parents' products. He is a more closely guarded secret than all of their IP combined. He doesn't exist as far as anyone knows.

We don't speak of how many pups get destroyed, or what fluids may get into them.

[-] RustyShackleford@literature.cafe 14 points 6 months ago

I assumed Rider’s comatose. Your story sounds far less depressing.

[-] WYLD_STALLYNS@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 6 months ago

Most likely reason.

[-] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 3 points 6 months ago

So are these dreams or nightmares?

[-] RustyShackleford@literature.cafe 6 points 6 months ago

Most likely nightmares. I used to theorize Chickaletta was Ryder’s subconscious awareness he was trapped. Mayor Goodway was a characterization of his nurse. Each pup, was a partial representation of the 7 deadly sins.

[-] tattletaletimes@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

I can't think of anything that is more plausible than this so I'm going to adopt this canon as well

[-] silasmariner@programming.dev 8 points 6 months ago
[-] tattletaletimes@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

I'll have whatever hallucinations that person is having! Fun read, thanks

this post was submitted on 10 May 2024
106 points (94.9% liked)

The Onion

4504 readers
882 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS