That really sucks. Can practically feel the tension through your post. What a bummer… shouldn’t kill anybody to let somebody else be happy doing their own thang (and be happy not necessarily copying another person’s thang).

Less importantly:

When I think about 'universal happiness', I’d think it’s more about creating conditions where everyone has the opportunity to pursue their own version of happiness, rather than imposing a single idea of happiness on everyone.

He'd be much happier in the grand scheme of things if he accepted his kids as they are.

This is a strange exclusionary way of considering happiness, tbh.

Like even if I want, and maybe even would be most happy, to sit down in front of a plate of duck a l'orange for dinner doesn't mean I can't or won't be perfectly happy eating a sirloin steak for dinner instead

Edit: for clarity, I am referring to your father's view on happiness, not your response to it