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Side of bed debate - Which side is left?
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~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
Ah, but as you say, people only care when they're "going to" lay in it, meaning they're not in the bed yet. Once you're in bed, you pretty much never need to specify the left or right side, you can say "shit, i spilled a drink on your side!"
So, since we only care about left and right sides while we're not in bed, I say who cares about the in-bed perspective. What matters is how it is oriented while you're standing up and looking at it. So that's how I'd assign left and right side.
To that, I'd say it's likely better if we use landmarks. Identify unique furniture or a window or something on each side. Then, refer to them as "Window side" or "Lamp side".