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this post was submitted on 27 May 2024
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chapotraphouse
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"We should reject the patriarchy and refuse to adopt our husband's surnames as our own!""
"Right on!"
"We must take back what is ours and overthrow men's dominance over women. We should fight to keep our maiden names."
"Yeah!!
Wait a sec - we're going to reject the cultural practice of taking on our husband's surnames and we're going to keep the ones that we were born with?"
"Exactly!"
"So we will keep the surnames that our fathers gave us in order to reject the patriarchy?"
"I... uhh... hang on, let me check my notes here."
(I'm not shitting on anyone who chooses to do this btw; you do you. After all you aren't property to be transferred from one owner to another. I'm just illustrating why bourgeois feminism is a dead end and why Marxist feminism is the only real path forward for women's liberation.)
I mean you gotta start somewhere. My surname might also be my grandfather's surname, but people don't think about that, they think about how my surname is my mother's surname instead of my father's.
Yeah, I'm with you. I just think that ultimately it's window-dressing, call me a class-reductionist if you will.
Women aren't going to be liberated by keeping their father's surname because there's this context of an always-already existent gender subjugation that they find themselves born into, which is what my little vignette is basically pointing towards.
In lukewarm defence of myself, I feel the same sorta way about stuff like workers striking for minor pay increases or Bernie-tier politicians; I half-heartedly support that stuff—far be it from me to oppose it—and any gain no matter how small is worth something to the masses but, as a revolutionary, I don't think it will ever go far enough in and of itself (hence why I'm also historicising this within the context of The Lucy Stone League of a century ago elsewhere in this thread).
To paraphrase James Connolly: our demands are most moderate, we only want the earth.
Oh yeah, it's definitely not a remotely revolutionary action in itself, but like minor strikes and leftish politicians, it's one of those things that plants a seed of radicalisation - it's kind of a pain having people be weird about it, but having to tell people that my parents are married, have kept their own names, and gave me my mother's surname has caused a few of them to actually question why taking the husband/father's name is normal.
Proletarian revolution is still way off on the horizon here in the imperial core - if anything I fear we're still more at risk of even-more-reactionary uprisings as the treats dry up - so every little thing that causes someone to start questioning their beliefs gives us an opportunity to illuminate and contextualise with the ultimate aim of awakening class consciousness. It's a bit like introducing concepts through demonstrations in teaching - a Van der Graaf generator isn't particularly important in physics, but getting people to ask how their hair stands up gives you room to start explaining electricity and polarities.
I agree and I'll take any opportunity to do the ol' agitate/educate/organise because as far as I'm concerned we're running desperately short on time and we can't afford to turn our noses up at the opportunities that get presented to us.
I think one thing about me that probably rubs people up the wrong way is that I consider this space to be a notch or two above what the general level of awareness is so I am much more critical than I would otherwise be, partly because I let my hair down here, if we were talking about it irl because face-to-face I'm going to agree with this and I'm going to encourage anyone who cares to get more involved in organising and engaging in activism, despite my misgivings, and I'll even furnish those people with arguments in favour of the position but I'll probably make mention of the Lucy Stone League to gently gesture at the fact that a century later and women are still thoroughly under the bootheel of patriarchy despite their best efforts or I might make note of the suffragette Edith Margaret Garrud and how women's rights were advanced by using Jujitsu and wielding hatpins more than any symbolic action. This is in the hope that they're going to take these ideas and learn more about them in their own time, and that they'll develop a richer understanding of what works when it comes to achieving social change.
Ah, that's fair - I think I'm often less critical here because I spend so much time around the full spectrum of reactionaries day to day that I'm just happy to be in an actually leftist social space. Plus I know people like you are hanging around to drop a bonus textbook for anyone wanting to know more - I'm partial to using the suffragette arson and bombing campaign as an example of effective political activism, but I hadn't encountered the Lucy Stone League before, so I'll be able to bring them up in the future.
When my ex and I got married, we picked a new surname that we both liked but didn't have any connection to. We're not together anymore but I have no plans to return to my original name b/c I still like it and basically all of my friends and colleagues know me by the current name
Eyy, I love this! Good for you 💪