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submitted 5 months ago by lazylion_ca@lemmy.ca to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

I have imposter syndrome, both at work and in my relationship.

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[-] fart_pickle@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

It depends on an age group. I would agree that in a group of 20-30 it's a mess, but 35+ you can find a decent partner (depending on your age of course).

[-] dingus@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Odd. That's backwards from what I generally hear people talk about. When you're still in your early twenties, it's very easy to meet people in college/university. Once you start getting older and leaving behind schooling and its associated extracurriculars, it gets way more difficult to meet people. Where are these 35+ people going out and finding partners? Not saying it's impossible by any stretch of the imagination, just a lot harder.

[-] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

bingo.

the whole 'you'll do better when you're older' is a myth told to silence people who are unhappy in their 20s. Things don't get better, they stay the same or get worse. People don't magically mature at the age of 35 or anything... typically they just double down on bad attitudes.

[-] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

people generally tell comforting myths and lies to themselves and collectively because the harsh reality of the situation is too terrifying to accept.

people also generally believe that 'one day i'll be rich'. even though they are 45 and working at a cashier in a gas station.

it's also easier to tell yourself comforting BS because then you don't have to take action and realize you are mostly a product of the choices you have made.

[-] RBWells@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

I agree it's easier when you are older. Not in late 20s early 30s but there is a lot of movement when people break up because they chose badly when young. So after 35, it opens up again.

[-] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

no you can't.

I am over 35. I had no toruble finding people 20-35. Now I have a lot of trouble and I have nothing in common with people my own age, not to mention the ones i do meet up with... are incredibly angry at their exes/life, and many of them are still expecting to find 'the one' as in someone who saves them from their own bad choices/habits. It's dark.

at least when i was younger people were optimistic and fun.. now a first date is always 'what's your income, what is the price of your home, can you provide for me? if you aren't you're a selfish worthless asshole of a man'.

and i'm like, 'ok'.

this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2024
104 points (97.3% liked)

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