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this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2024
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chapotraphouse
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The amount of CYA language in the manual is fucking astonishing.
The whole thing is apparently one big version of those stickers you see on the back of work trucks saying they aren't responsible for damage caused by unsecured loads flying out of the back of their vehicle.
It would get you drummed out of court if you ever tried to argue it wasn't a completely hollow threat, but apparently that completely hollow threat is effective enough to justify their existence.
Is the first page of the manual just "your problem now, sucker!"
NOTE: the CyberTruck™ is a vehicle-shaped novelty amusement. Not intended for use on public or private roads/trails.
Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to CyberTruck™.
Caution: CyberTruck™ may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
CyberTruck™contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
Do not use CyberTruck™ on concrete.
Discontinue use of CyberTruck™ if any of the following occurs:
If CyberTruck™ begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
CyberTruck™ may stick to certain types of skin.
Ingredients of CyberTruck™ include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
CyberTruck™ has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
Do not taunt CyberTruck™.
CyberTruck™ comes with a lifetime warranty.
CyberTruck™ is dedicated to the brave mujahideen fighters of Afghanistan
When not in use CyberTruck™ should be returned to its container and kept in refrigeration