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Lemmy, how do you deal with heartbreak? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 5 months ago by OceanSoap@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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Finally found the man I thought I would marry, but the breakup came out of nowhere and I'm struggling to cope. What are the ways you've dealt with heartbreak in the past?

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[-] pancakes@sh.itjust.works 14 points 5 months ago

This isn't the exact same situation but me and my SO of 8 years broke up in January. It hurt a lot at first but over time I'm happier then i ever thought i would be without her. It's an excellent opportunity to look at yourself with an introspective lens and grow as a person.

That and a lot of anime, video games, working out, magic the gathering, and discovering new hobbies.

[-] ConstipatedWatson@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Am so sorry to hear about this. Your message makes me wonder about two past relationships

(1) In one I spent years with someone and it actually was a very toxic relationship, but I didn't realize it during the whole time. What happened was that when I got dumped, I thought I'd die and instead I got over it very quickly by noticing how much I'd lost of myself and how I was rediscovering of myself. It turned out I was able to flush it from myself in less that 6 months. It probably also helped I had finally found what I wanted to do for myself

(2) About a year and a half after the previous relationship, I found someone I really wanted to be with and who made it incredibly hard to get together with. I worked so hard and then we got together. After a month together, she cheated on me with my (then) best friend of several years. It took me years to get over this and we'd been together for just a month. Somehow the fact I wasn't able to fully live this relationship hurt me way more than the previous long (but horrible) relationship.

Finding things that you enjoy doing helps a lot, but mainly it's time that heals your wounds.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk

Edit: fixed grammar

[-] pancakes@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 months ago

Wow my condolences, getting cheated on is awful. And don't feel bad about my situation, it was the best breakup I've ever had. We both had realized beforehand that over the years we were together, the spark had slowly faded. We were so compatible as friends that when we spent time together, it was more like hanging out with a friend than a partner. The breakup itself took almost 3 hours and it was just us reminiscing about all the good times we had and how neither of us were at fault. I hope she finds someone worthy of how great she is, just like i wish the same for myself. It was truly a wholesome time, and now that i know what the real thing feels like, i know I'll find it again some day.

I hope you find that special someone that vibes in the exact same way you vibe, the kind of person that makes your heart excited like a kid getting excited for chicken nuggets.

[-] ConstipatedWatson@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

Thanks for your words! I wish the same to you (your description of excitement is so awesome!)! Hang in there!

What your words triggered in me are fairly old emotions. Those two bad relations happened many years ago and now am I with someone I hope will last (you never know, but fingers crossed)

this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2024

177 points (97.3% liked)

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