Older women, women with weight changes or visible disabilities, or transfolk of Lemmy - how has the male gaze changed for you? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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Hello ladies (current and former) of Lemmy (current) - I'm curious how your experience of the male gaze has changed as you moved in and out of young-woman-hood.

How has your opinion of being seen changed through this process?

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[-] weariedfae@lemmy.world 25 points 5 months ago

I have always been "non-traditional" looking. When I was young and skinny I don't think I was ugly but certainly not conventionally beautiful. Now that I'm older I am certifiably "meh".

The expectation to look pretty (for men) is still there even if I don't meet the criteria for their attention. I still feel the societal pressure, I still feel bad about my appearance when I'm not serving male gaze ideals. It doesn't just go away even when you're disqualified from personhood for being ugly.

I'm hoping becoming an old biddy will release me from requirements and I can feel free.

[-] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 months ago

Interesting that you still internalize the pressure. Maybe that's a result of how much women are guided to be objects of sexual interest from youth?

As a guy, I can dress as poorly as I want and not feel less manly because of it. I will still feel stigma about class and stuff, though.

I've definitely heard that being old is liberating! I hope I get there someday.

[-] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 3 points 5 months ago

Well shit I didn't realize this could be so sticky. I wish you feel free asap

this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2024

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