Older women, women with weight changes or visible disabilities, or transfolk of Lemmy - how has the male gaze changed for you? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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Hello ladies (current and former) of Lemmy (current) - I'm curious how your experience of the male gaze has changed as you moved in and out of young-woman-hood.

How has your opinion of being seen changed through this process?

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[-] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 months ago

I try to do drive by compliments, but not while literally driving ... Just stuff like "cool hat!" and walk off so they don't need to respond or engage with me.

I would like to be told I have a nice ass, but that's because it doesn't happen (even though I think I deserve it). It sounds like being hit on often cheapens it.

[-] Pandantic@midwest.social 3 points 5 months ago

I do drive-by compliments too, especially if someone is sporting a fandom I like. I think it’s different when it’s a stranger complimenting a body feature - it implies sexual attraction which can feel objectifying and, unfortunately in the world we live in, unsafe. I don’t know this person, I just know they felt comfortable enough to anonymously shout a comment about a sexual part of my body, so what else do they feel comfortable enough to do?

[-] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 months ago

Gotcha. Yeah, I would never comment on a stranger's body/face/smell. Even if I don't mean anything by it, creepy is in the eye of the beholder.

this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2024

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