I always believe living itself requires sacrifice. Sure I feel restricted but when am I not? There is always some rule I have to accept. Personally, being with someone close to who you want to be and editing them over the decades is more acceptable to me than constantly find them. And I did try for years but no one else really gave me a chance or worst I have 0 respected for them and they made me feel terrible for even considering them. But here is a person who has always been a great friend but is just repressed and won't open up. Take the bird in the hand is my choice.