What's best way of telling a dating app match, you're done texting for the day? (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by FatTony@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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When I get a match on a dating app, and it's going well, I often run into the problem of not knowing how to conclude texting for the day. My social battery runs out pretty quickly when texting. Especially when I just met the other person that day. I usually just tell a white lie.

So does anyone maybe have a good line on how to end things casually, for the day? Or is this something you should tell them beforehand? Or is telling a white lie the proper way to go in this scenario?

Please let me know your thoughts on the matter.

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[-] FatTony@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

Seriously? I was always told you text for like two or three days first before going on a date. Oh I could definitely do that. I actually really hate texting XD

[-] norimee@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

Texting stresses me out, but I still rather talk a bit, to get a feel for the other person. If a guy presses for a meet up in the first few sentences, I might just back out and say never mind I'd rather not.

But maybe that's just me.

[-] jet@hackertalks.com 1 points 4 months ago

The advice isn't to press for a meeting to creep out the match, just to provide the option early.

I.e. theres a coffee shop I've been meaning to try next to Thing, would you like to meet there on DAY and talk about SHARED TOPIC?

If the match defers or says no, that's fine, but the effort was made to solidify the match

[-] jet@hackertalks.com 1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

~~That advice is from the 1950s where there were not that many options and people didn't want to seem desperate. I like you, but not too much kinda thing.~~

~~Do that today and you might as well disappear from the face of the earth.~~

Misread your comment, I thought it was the old phone call advice.

Meeting strangers is no big deal, I meet them all the time, just have to walk outside. At the coffee shop there is strangers in line. Talk to them too. Arranging a face-to-face shouldn't be a big deal, it's just like cool maybe maybe we'll sync up

[-] FatTony@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

But really in the first few messages? Again, I'm all game. But I don't want to scare her off or something.

[-] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 11 points 4 months ago

You don't have to request a dinner date or a movie or something. That might scare her off. Something quick and simple, though, shouldn't be a problem. "Hey, there's a Starbucks a few blocks from you, can I buy you a drink [tomorrow, whatever]? We can have a quick chat and see if we click." Or whatever's appropriate for your situation. You're not asking for a prolonged thing, just a brief face-to-face meeting, and if it goes well and you decide to go get lunch or something, fine, but you don't need to set that expectation up front.

[-] magnetosphere@fedia.io 3 points 4 months ago

Exactly. Quick and simple, with none of the expectations/baggage that a dinner date implies. Coffee. Ice cream. Freakin’ mini golf; I dunno. The point is to keep it casual, non-threatening, and allow conversation.

[-] RBWells@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

I am a lady and yes meeting in real life is the way to go. Not a real date, no, not the first time. But to meet at coffee shop or whatever, make sure the guy is real and see if there is any chemistry.

Plus if you are a guy looking for women, I'd think even more important to make sure you are talking to a real person who wants to meet people, not a fake profile.

It would not scare me, just a daytime meeting out where there are lots of people.

It's not pushy to ask for an in person meeting on a dating app. It's the whole point.

this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2024

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