Yeah, but why would you want to?

Every friend I've ever had turns out to only be looking for like minded enablers to justify their drug or alcohol problems. And when it turns out I disapprove, they do something shitty like steal your tv.

And every woman I've ever dated turns out to be either "dating you for a place to live", "dating you to make her husband jealous", or "dating you to be dating SOMEONE". I've never had someone who is dating me for me. And I've never had a friend who enjoys sitting around every few weeks, getting drunk, watching some sports, but then the next day you live a sober life. It's always me basically babysitting a drunk, or me trying to play dr phil to a guy who's threatening to beat his wife.

Before I end up realizing "fuck all these friends. I'm going to sit in my apartment alone, and watch ghostbusters on dvd, while wishing I had time for a cat.