Hmm, so as not to scare southern whites, the Dems need a white politician for VP, ideally with a history of racism. They also are going to want someone whose political career is waning, so that they're not just king-making for 2032. I suggest Joseph Robinette Biden.

Mark Kelly doesn't have the nasty past that made Joe Biden so appealing to the party in 2008, but the military & astronaut background certainly makes up for it. Could definitely see him getting the nom.

Andrew Beshear seems too young (for my gauge of what the DNC would want). And he's moderate on gun control (which would be a good thing if the Dems were actually trying to court Rs rather than acting as the pawl) but gun control has been the bread and butter for ages so I think he'd be a hard sell.

Going through the list of long-serving congresscritters & Dem elder-statesmen:

Ed Markey fits the Biden bill from 2008, long-serving Dem politician, but is probably too progressive.

Al Gore would be hilarious, but then we'd have to address climate change and that makes capitalists sad.

no

Hilary would take the VP spot just for the chance to off Kamala, and also would lose to trump again which is funny.

Chuck Schumer is slimy enough to fit the bill and play the party's internal politics right, but I imagine he'd like to just stay as majority leader so he doesn't get tarnished if the ticket loses.

Steny Hoyer's out, can't go older than Biden.

I know absolutely nothing about Ron Wyden, like I swear I've never heard this name or seen his guy before, but two west-coasters on the same ticket is probably bad optics or something.

I could see Dick Durbin. I don't see any unchecked boxes or immediate disqualifiers there.

Actually, speaking of Illinois, I could see JB Pritzker too, easily. Easier, actually. Hadn't really thought about governors. The no-king-making & waning political career arguments still hold because the dude looks like the Wikipedia picture for congestive heart failure (no body shaming intended, he's still very politician-photogenic). (Of course, much like Biden, he could easily hold on and become a shitty candidate later after all). And having a billionaire on the ticket against Trump would be funny to the libs. And would put the capitalist class greatly at ease. I might need to put betting money on Pritzker.

Continuing down the governor path, Martin O'Malley has that "tried and failed to be president" vibe that Biden brought in 2008, though it might be too recent for comfort.

Which, actually, taking into consideration Aaron-Sorkin west-wing politics-is-about-feel-good-optics "choose Mitt" bullshit brain, Larry Hogan would be the "we're going to reach across the aisle and do what's best for the country" / "we need to get Republicans to vote for us" choice in my book. Same "blue state republican" energy as Mitt, without risking people remembering when voting against him was the most important election ever.