In a perfect world, me. But it would probably be better if there was a body of 100 or so individuals of diverse backgrounds to make sure we aren't excluding names for cultural reasons. Names could be submitted for approval. To weed out the Everleighs, the Sexiannas, the Khaleesis. And any names Jamie Oliver would pick.

I don't know why people think it is acceptable to treat names like an opportunity for creativity, or fun. Names are serious business. And they aren't a medium for self expression. If I name my dog after a type of pasta, who cares? But imagine having to give someone a business card with "Fusilli Feet" on it. I love Waterworld, but my kid will never have to put down "Mariner Feet" on a resume. My kid is not an extension of me, or my interests.