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How do you feel you've aged?
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When I was young, I was angry all the time. Now I'm a lot more chill. It took me a long time to internalise the idea that losing my temper always made things worse instead of better but I'm glad I did.
when I was young, I was hopeful and immortal. Now I'm seeing the doors closing, the ship sinking, and the person I see in the mirror is beginning to resemble someone I don't like.
Idk your gender, but a transwoman once told me that testosterone feels like being behind the wheels of a really fast car and wanting to push the pedal down all the way, all the time. I think transpeople as a whole would do wonders for gender studies, but eh! I wonder if it's like that and I am glad you didn't end up doing anything so drastic it messed you up for life. Here's to more non-violent living =)~!!!