this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2024
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Relationship Advice
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Tbh, it tends to be easiest when you start as friends, try dating, and it doesn't work out.
But it is possible even when it started as dating and turned into romantic love. The key to it is grinding the old habits away as fast as possible, and treating the situation like a brand new friendship.
You gotta be patient with yourself, it won't be instant. But you pay attention to your thoughts and when they turn to romance, you shut it down hard inside yourself. You remind your self that it's over, and this is a fresh start. It'll be painful at first, but if you genuinely act like a friend, and only expect friendship in return, that pain will be replaced with the warmth of a friendship.
Me and my wife are both friends with several of my exes. Even two where I screwed up, rather than it just not working.
And, that's something to hold tight to, btw. It already didn't work, that means it's less likely to work in the future. Doesn't matter why it didn't work, only that repeat mistakes are a big waste of time.
If you can't do that kind of self evaluation, and self control, bail now. Be honest, say you can't handle it, at least for now, and don't be the kind of douche that pretends to be a friend for ulterior motives. Nobody likes that kind of person, even that kind of person.