The tragedy of himbo death (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 months ago by RNAi@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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[-] sweatersocialist@hexbear.net 83 points 2 months ago

i'm not male or insecure but i can definitely see how this compliment might come across as her telling him he's not hot/she isn't crazy about his looks or his personality, but that he's "a good guy" and "marriage material"- which yes, those are also compliments, but in this context could be taken as backhanded. i feel like maybe she should have just said something else. i also feel like acting like men aren't allowed to have feelings or insecurities or be upset is absurd.

[-] The_Jewish_Cuban@hexbear.net 68 points 2 months ago

Lots of people in here just acting like Men aren't ever insecure about their bodies.

[-] RION@hexbear.net 50 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Hexbear: men should shirk toxic masculinity and embrace their emotions!

Also Hexbear: this man, who I have one (1) data point about, is clearly upset here because his ability to control women through sex is being undercut. This is why dating men is the worst, just toughen up and take the compliment bro!!

[-] The_Jewish_Cuban@hexbear.net 16 points 2 months ago

I think you see this reflected in media too when women in a heterosexual relationship who have a crisis over not feeling desired or something along those lines, is displayed in a sympathetic way.

"Women like to feel chased and desired." Is a common through line in stories in which romance needs to be re-injected into the relationship. However here, a potentially miss worded compliment which states how they like their fulfilling stable relationship but also decenters the importance or existence of physical attraction towards the man can't possibly be understood that way. Naturally stories are maybe more dramatic in their portrayal, but I think this this issue can be common in long-term relationships. Regardless of gender composition of the relationship or the gender of the person who may be feeling that way.