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this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2024
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Asklemmy
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I'm sorry but I just don't understand where you are at. I feel you are adopting this "I'm a very private person" label as an armor to close yourself off from a closer relationship with your family. I'm very much an introvert with my own internal world, and yet I feel people are probably the point of life. Relationships are not always comfortable, but I feel that discomfort is part of the fun-- to approach it with curiosity to see what happens and as a growth opportunity to see how you'll practice communicating with the other person with openness and vulnerability. To me that's way more fun and interesting than shutting down yourself and others with a priori rules.
I'm not really adopting this label. I've always been this way. I would always call and plan when I went to people's houses as a kid. As an adult I would always book at least a week in advance when I wanted to hang out with people. I don't just pop by, I plan in advance. We don't have kids, it is just us two humans and two dogs, we like it this way.
My parents and I talk by text every other day and talk around once a week by phone. I think the only difference will be that I will go by once a week instead of the phone call.
So why does that worry your partner? Visiting parents once a week seems a highly normal behaviour. It is not like suggesting you move in with them as a multigenerational family arrangement.