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this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2024
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Asklemmy
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Exactly this. There's still some level of understandability to not wanting more frequent visitors, but given that expectations have been set appropriately, any further objection is just selfish.
The part where she is afraid that her partner will spend too much time with their parents is a big red flag by itself though. That seems inappropriately possessive.
At this point, OP's partner has established that they don't want frequent house visitors, and they don't want their partner spending a disproportionate amount of time away from the home. That is workable, but any further disagreement really needs to happen later, if and only if one of these boundaries is being crossed to a demonstrable deficit to the relationship.
And the boundary for "spends too much time with parents" has to be something nuanced. Staying a week at your parents' to avoid a fight with your partner at home is a problem. Staying a week at your parents' while your mom recovers from surgery is basic familial responsibility.