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[-] Deestan@lemmy.world 211 points 3 months ago

Step 3: Prepare a bowl of jelly.

Step 3: Prepare a bowl of sourcream.

Step 2: Prepare a bowl of peanut butter. Touch the bowl gently.

No step: Fingers melt painlessly into caramel. Hold them in your hand.

Step 4: Flatten the peanut butter.

Step 6: Unflatten the peanut butter.

Step 1: Take the peanut butter out of the bowl and put it back in.

Step S: Move peanut butter to a small lasagna baking dish. Flatten and divide into 3 parts.

Step 4: Observe the jelly.

Step 8: Prepare a small bowl of caramel sauce.

Step 3: Stir the caramel once with a finger.

Step 1: Observe the jelly.

Step 8: The spoonful of cum is not needed. Gently remove it from the baking area.

Step 4: Check the jelly is still there.

Step 3: Carefully slice the bread, but you will still cut your finger. The future has already happened. You can not change it.

Step 6: Put sourcream on top of the peanut butter and flatten it.

Step 3: Pour the bowl of sourcream and peanut butter into a bowl of sugar.

Ingest excitedly.

[-] NarrativeBear@lemmy.world 40 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

How to make a PBJ sandwiche, step 8 will shock you!

"Step 8: The spoonful of cum is not needed. Gently remove it from the baking area."

I'm dying, good work!

[-] rain_worl@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

you are WRONG! THIS is step 8:

Step 8: Prepare a small bowl of caramel sauce.

[-] Mothra@mander.xyz 21 points 3 months ago

This has me crying lol

[-] grue@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago

How frustrated did you get with Markdown trying to "fix" your numbering while writing that?

[-] Deestan@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

Markdown's "smart" numbering is the worst.

[-] adj16@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago

I really appreciate how much effort you put into this

[-] PinkyCoyote@sopuli.xyz 14 points 3 months ago
[-] Deestan@lemmy.world 26 points 3 months ago

I am sorry, but these instructions have no step 3. The steps in these instructions are: 3, 3, 2, error, 4, 6, 1, S, 4, 8, 3, 1, 8, 4, 3, 6 and 3.

Did you mean Step 3?

[-] adj16@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago
[-] Pandantic@midwest.social 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

This was epic. Thank you fine .worder!

[-] abcd@feddit.org 6 points 3 months ago

This looks like a initially simple state machine written in assembler (or a similar language where you have to use jumps for program flow) that has been modified heavily by 15 devs in 25 years in production, while they all shat their pants

[-] _stranger_@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

; the spoonful of cum is not needed. TODO: Gently remove it from the cooking area.

[-] EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 3 months ago

You forgot that in step 2 you're supposed to touch the bowl with your toes and/or "good hand."

[-] orenishii@feddit.nl 6 points 3 months ago

Oh man you’ve got me cracking up here. That spoon full of cum hahaha. People a bit further are looking very strange at me now

[-] taiyang@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

I followed the steps but my jelly managed to get away before Step 3 and ate half my family. I'll try again, but I'm running low on cousins. 5/5 stars.

this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2024
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