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this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2024
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Asklemmy
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Your and his age are gonna be major variables here. Conversations and relationships work very differently at different life stages.
You sound like you're maybe a teenager? Try asking interesting questions that require some thought to answer, but still leave room for your friend to give an easy thoughtless answer if they want to. Where do you think we'll be in X years? What's something you thought you wanted but as you've gotten okay have realised you actually don't? What do you think we do now thar future generations will think is crazy? Listen to his answers and ask followup questions.
Personally, I've always been most impressed by directness, honesty, intelligence and courage.
36F 30M, both neurodivergents if that also plays a role. Neither particularly lucky in love, though finding people to date isn't hard for either. Both in many ways immature so I don't take personally you presuming I'm a teenager. I absolutely feel as dumb as one to the point of asking this question. Thanks for the answer.
Neurodivergent romances are awkward as fuck. Dunno what to say except sympathy.
relatable
After 30 you should both be able to handle rejection and reject in a nice way. Just make sure you are both sober and sprinkle lots of compliments.
It's not me downvoting you btw. Maybe you are right, perhaps I'm not mentally prepared to handle it. At least I know what to talk about next time I see my therapist
Yes. A professional is much better than ransom lemmy advice.
Your therapist should help you realise that the worse case scenario (rejection) has already happened to you many times in other forms, and you survived.
Hey, what you say is true, but I still find value in the opinions of a bunch of strangers. It's not professional, yet it helps me see what the majority of people would think in my shoes. It's a check-in with reality in a way. I don't think I could get that talking to a single person no matter how good they are. They're two completely different things.