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Got a guy’s phone number, no idea what to do next
(hexbear.net)
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this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2023
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neurodiverse
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It's ADHD, Autism, OCD, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, bi-polar, aspd, etc etc etc etc
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Do you mind proofreading the first message?
Although I’m worried the conversation could come to a pause. If he just replies with something like “Yeah I had a good time.” with no question for me. There’s nothing really to follow up.
Or actually, I feel like it would probably go “did you have a good time?”, “yeah, you?”, “yeah” and then I wouldn’t know how to follow up.
What could this question be? I can’t really think of anythIng.
Looks good!
If that happens leave it for a short while maybe and then ask them if they go there often.
The next thing, for more neurotypical conversations like this, is "breadcrumbing" where you lead the next question they'll ask you by saying something like "Yeah, I had a good time. It was the first time I've been there and it was more fun than I expected." This indicates that, if they have a fairly high level of social reciprocity, they should ask you where you normally go out where you can respond by saying where you normally go to or, alternatively, to say that you don't go out that often but instead you engage in other hobbies or activities, such as saying that you tend to get up early and go to the gym on weekends rather than going out partying or that you tend to stay in watching movies. That sort of thing.
Were you out with friends? What do you do for fun? Are you in college? That sort of thing. Try to pick up on the cues that the other person leaves for you to inform what you ask about - if they mention a topic they are typically signalling for you to ask a question about that topic.
I'm in awe of the details in these comments and the clarity with which you have communicated them. Thank you, these are super helpful.