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this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2024
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I was going to build some kind of long lasting software that improves everyone's lives.
I've built some genuinely impactful stuff. Some of my work has saved lives.
But that long term worthwhile project hasn't materialized. Everything I've built is now either tossed out and forgotten, or has long overstayed it's welcome.
I take it as a zen lesson about the ephemeral nature of all things. All we are is dust in the wind - including the stuff we make.
Now I mostly make whatever someone is willing to pay for, and just however well they're willing to pay for. (Edit: Lately I have the privilege to select employers that I think do some genuine good. That helps how I feel about it. I did a lot of 'meh' work on my way to where I am.)
I do make a few handy little things on the side, but I'm no longer burdened with my past delusions of grandeur.
10/10. Would give up the dream again.
On the film set, I look at each lighting setup as a mandala. We meticulously craft the look only to quickly brush it away in an instant.
That's beautiful. A film set is a particularly good analogy - whatever we want to remember from it must be thoughtfully captured by skilled artists and technicians, before the set, itself, is gone.
I feel this. So many projects I have built for companies, to their specs, that they considered a success, only to have them simply be thrown away years later rather than improved. So many projects I have built for myself only to have them eclipsed by VC driven companies with larger feature sets and deeper pockets. Unfortunately I have yet to reach your level of zen.
I disagree. Humans are temporary. Physical things are temporary. But concepts are made until destroyed.
Nations built by people thousands of years ago still stand.
I"ve never met Abraham Lincoln. I don't know anyone who has met Abraham Lincoln. Yet for his personal role in destroying the concept of slavery, he will always be remembered.
If your software can save lives, I guarantee the people whos lives you saved didn't forget you.
You can still use your powers for good, and become a hero. Which is more important than being paid.
I appreciate that thought. I don't believe it. But I appreciate it.
A lot (if not all) of the lives my work saved don't know anything about the part I played, or even that my software had anything to do with it.
I'm okay with that. I know that there's families out there that are more whole today, thanks to my work. That's more valuable to me than any footnote in a history book.
Someday those families will be just as dead as if I had done nothing. But I did do something. Millions of extra moments happened with family members who could have died.
Beautiful things that are eventually forgetten are still beautiful things. To me, that's enough.
I've been on the other side of this, too.
I have no way to thank all the people whose medical engineering work extended my grandfather's life by decades. I don't know any of their names.
But, I hope they know that people like me revere their efforts as sacred. (I've made some effort on that front, but I know I'll never thank everyone who deserves my thanks.)