You ever start replying to disagree with a comment and then realize the things you've normalized in your romantic past are a bit fucked up? That's where I'm at right now

I've had sex plenty of times I didn't really want to in the past. It goes like

She's horny and wants to fuck. I am not

If I say no it's a self esteem meltdown

If I say yes it's a bit of a workout that ends in cuddling, which I always want

It's just always felt better for my life to be an on demand dick machine than somebody who can say no