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How to deal with a partner's chronic pain (slrpnk.net)
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by BlackRoseAmongThorns@slrpnk.net to c/relationship_advice@lemmy.world
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Been in a relationship for a year, since early in the relationship my partner has been suffering with chronic back pain. This pain is almost always present, this causes breakdowns multiple times a week, especially on weekends.

I've been having a hard time helping her manage her pain and being there for her, it reoccures so much that I'm starting to feel myself becoming apathetic towards her, and sometimes outright cold.

I haven't really been getting a chance to rest from being emotionally available, or even socially available (even though life circumstance already caused me to basically halt all social life). And i haven't really had a weekend this past months that i could use to rest instead of being on call and hearing her cry most of the day.

I feel like I'm pouring from an empty cup and that I don't have any other choice, otherwise I'd be leaving her to deal with it herself.

It feels like it's going to be the end of our relationship, any advice?

p.s. we're a man-woman relationship, young adults, both of us not really experienced in relationships, if that's any help.

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[-] Blackout@fedia.io 6 points 2 months ago

I had a friend just like that. Got tiring hearing him complain all the time, everywhere we went. Ending up avoiding him and encouraging his move when he suggested it. There is just a limit you can be sympathetic to, then it will drive your relationship to end. So the only proven methods to solving your issue is:

  1. Couples therapy to deal with your feelings and to teach your partner how to communicate their pain.

  2. Physical therapy to find an workout/exercise routine to help deal with the pain they are feeling. Prescription drugs are only a stop gap method and can lead to addiction and emotional outbursts.

I also went through terrible back pain. Had to walk with a cane and shuffle my feet to get anywhere and I was only 35 at the time. I got over my prejudice against yoga and fully emersed myself in it. Took about a year but with daily (2-3x a day) yoga and then adding in strength training little by little I was able to completely overcome my back issues. Prior to my pain I ran 5miles daily and worked out so it's not always about health conditions. Today I'm in my mid 40s and I start every day with yoga, box 4x a week, bike 4x a week and my back pains have been non existent so a simple solution can work.

[-] BlackRoseAmongThorns@slrpnk.net 2 points 2 months ago

I appreciate someone with similar pains giving feedback about this, puts more of this into perspective, thank you.

[-] GBU_28@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

Your experience reminds me of this video

https://youtu.be/qX9FSZJu448

I find it it very inspirational to see their journey, with or without the music.

No comment / endorsement on the program or anything, just saying their yoga focused recovery is cool.

this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2024
70 points (96.1% liked)

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