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I can't help with Lemmy, but I've been running a single-user Mastodon instance for almost a year now.
Like you, I found that the media very quickly used up much more disk space than I anticipated. There are a few things you can do.
You can tune how long media is stored for: some of this is done in the admin interface, but really you need to set up cron jobs to regularly run various
tootctl
commands. This is the crontab I use:You can of course choose even stricter settings but I found that no matter what I did, given that I am following approx 1,000 other Fediverse accounts it still used up more disk space than I was comfortable with.
So I offloaded most of the media storage onto an S3-compatible service. It's breaking the self-hosting ethos somewhat, but with Backblaze B2 I can happily store and serve several hundred GB of media files for just a couple of dollars a month. To me, that was a no-brainer.