How do you walk the line between not wanting to impose on the host and understanding they want the space to show their hospitality? (kbin.social)

submitted 1 year ago by Niello@kbin.social to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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And when money is involved, what's your approach to not make it turns into an endless awkward back and forth because both sides want to pay?

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[-] overthebrink90@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

When accepting a favor would impose a financial burden, I usually push back twice and then relent. (1) "Are you sure, I can absolutely get this?" (2)"It's really not a problem, I don't mind paying." If they're still insisting at this point, I'll pack down, especially if it's obvious they're trying to do a nice thing.

I used to be more reluctant to accept that sort of help from folks, but there's a quote from the Thomas Covenant series that goes something like "in accepting the gift, one honors the giver." It's kinda stuck with me since I read it; let people give you gifts, it makes them feel good. Graciously accept, and think about how to pay it forward/back.

[-] deeroh@lemdro.id 5 points 1 year ago

Couldn't agree more. I grew up poor, and I've been lucky to find a well-paying job in my adult life. It makes me feel so good to be able to do the things for people that I couldn't do when I was younger. I love that quote too - that's totally true for me. I think I get more satisfaction out of being able to offer something than the person actually receiving the thing.

this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2023

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