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Selfhosted
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Regarding VPNs, I wish this was an easier way of doing it. Unfortunately it requires all friends to be tech savvy enough to understand why a vpn is necessary.
Why would they need to understand? Just tell them that it's needed to play on the server and set it up for them. Whenever they want to play, they can use the VPN.
Use wg-easy has a dead simple web ui then just send your friends a link to wireguard downloads page and a copy of the their .conf file it has an import button.
I just tell them its the app you need to connect to my network. True enough and I've never had anyone have much issues.