I looked behind the scenes quite a bit in Debian and what you say mirrors what I saw. The project is very political and does suffer from a serious lack of man-(and woman-)power in many areas. If you do want to help, you're almost immediately hampered by the community's Byzantine structure.

If that puts you off, Arch is a more dynamic project that's easier to get into as a maintainer. But it's also organized with a more hierarchical and less democratic structure.

Additionally, you'll find the issues Debian has all over the FOSS world (The Linux kernel is especially bad). And if you work in corporate IT like I do, you'll soon notice that proprietary software organisations are no better. There's software many people depend on maintained by a single overworked and struggling person everywhere you look. Yet it still works somehow. Cause wherever there is demand, a solution is found. And Debian at least has a long-established structure with the goal of finding that solution, even though it's antiquated.