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this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2024
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United States | News & Politics
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I've been waiting for the ideal time to unmask myself, and now seems as good a time as any.
It is I. I am the president and CEO of Antifa, and I rule with an iron fist.
I'll take your questions now.
Are you hiring ?
Hi! Yes, I have a question.
Grocery prices have been hitting hard lately, and I'm looking into alternative meat sources. I would like to know if I were to join your company, could we literally eat the rich? Or, second best, take all their stuff?
God knows what wierd chemicals they are marinating in, and most of them are busy amassing private armies and creating microstates while working to erode the checks that currently limit their ability to essentially act as actual sovereign citizen, so it wouldn't exactly be very calorically rewarding compared to the effort, but...
NEXT!
I've heard rumors of unionizing at antifa. What is your strategy for dealing with that?
Obvious conservative plant question. Collective action itself is the iron fist with which I rule, thus a Union would be redundant.
NEXT!
What's your company culture like? What are the perks of working for antifa?
Same answer to both questions: fash bashin'
NEXT!
So no 401k or dental than? No thanks.
Not OP, but I'll field this part. Where we're going 401Ks and dental won't be needed.
If you're antipho, what's your soup of choice?
That's a joke for radio. NEXT!
If they're antipho we can safely assume their opinions on soup aren't worth a damn.
Gazpacho, like revenge, is best served cold.