63
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2024
63 points (100.0% liked)
technology
23313 readers
342 users here now
On the road to fully automated luxury gay space communism.
Spreading Linux propaganda since 2020
- Ways to run Microsoft/Adobe and more on Linux
- The Ultimate FOSS Guide For Android
- Great libre software on Windows
- Hey you, the lib still using Chrome. Read this post!
Rules:
- 1. Obviously abide by the sitewide code of conduct. Bigotry will be met with an immediate ban
- 2. This community is about technology. Offtopic is permitted as long as it is kept in the comment sections
- 3. Although this is not /c/libre, FOSS related posting is tolerated, and even welcome in the case of effort posts
- 4. We believe technology should be liberating. As such, avoid promoting proprietary and/or bourgeois technology
- 5. Explanatory posts to correct the potential mistakes a comrade made in a post of their own are allowed, as long as they remain respectful
- 6. No crypto (Bitcoin, NFT, etc.) speculation, unless it is purely informative and not too cringe
- 7. Absolutely no tech bro shit. If you have a good opinion of Silicon Valley billionaires please manifest yourself so we can ban you.
founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
Not at all, thanks for asking!
Hellion is making massive strides on the Torment Nexus project, with record-breaking reports of dissatisfaction among volunteer beta testers. We're still working on clearing the necessary hurdles to achieve mass torment at scale, but our prototype devices are capable of delivering steady streams of up to 100 agons per hour at standard loads, and incidences of spontaneous combustion into clouds of of brimstone-scented smoke and the insane giggling of a being driven beyond the pale of sanity whose warped mind can no longer be considered fully human are way down from our alpha testing. The engineering team feels like we are currently well ahead of our initially projected timeline to market. We plan to begin delivering affordable torment to customers in select US markets by Q4 2025.
Fantastic!
Impressive! Seriously though - I thought affordable torment was at least ~10 years away. This is indeed great news.
Using the methods available to us as little as a few years ago, you'd be right. Fortunately, thanks in part to tireless researchers at the Torment Studies Department of Stanford University, whose researchers are working with what some worrywarts might describe as "worryingly large" sums of public funding, we've developed several shortcuts in our torment delivery framework. Fears that the speed of our development is the result of dealmaking with dark forces with subtle motives beyond our ken are, of course, false - it's purely the result of some creative thinking coupled with a hard-nosed dedication to the scientific method. For example, experiments show that torment can be delivered via supersensory means, inducing feelings of dread, anxiety, and exhaustion without the user even aware that they're being tormented! Abilities previously thought to be unique to haunts and spirits confined to the non-physical planes can now be harnessed with a little boring engineering. For other concerns, we'll refer you to our Huey "Expandable" Mandibles, who was just promoted from our finance office to the role of Chief Ethics Officer.
The Torment Studies Department continues to impress. Stanford's gonna be a world leader in torment if they keep this up.
I'm speechless.
Game changer.
Mandi gets results by understanding the bigger picture and by being hard nosed. Wise pick.
We appreciate your enthusiasm! It's support from our many potential customers that motivates us to work hard every day to deliver as much unnecessary unendurable punishment as technology permits straight to your cerebrum.
How are talks going with Cypress Hill to be your musical outreach communicators? I can't wait for the remix!
Torment in the membrane / Torment in the brain!