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[-] ClimateChangeAnxiety@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

I agree that cars get given cop voice, but this particular example I’m not sure how you could reword that sentence. I think I would say “train derails after striking x” regardless of what the object was.

Train derails after striking cow escaped from pasture. Train derails after striking fallen log.

[-] ThermonuclearEgg@hexbear.net 39 points 1 month ago

Active voice first.

"A car on the train tracks caused an East LA Metro train to derail"

[-] RNAi@hexbear.net 21 points 1 month ago

I like hearing the important part first, here being "train derails"

[-] ThermonuclearEgg@hexbear.net 24 points 1 month ago

Fair enough but establishing a causative form is critical here. As written, the train is to blame for striking the car in the same way a car is to blame for striking the pedestrian.

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this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2024
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traingang

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