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this post was submitted on 03 Oct 2024
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Asklemmy
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I’m from Alberta Canada. I’ve worked up North in camp jobs, and have been working in the trades with the rowdiest people our country has to offer.
Every time I’ve been to the states I’m shocked at how aggressive a large portion of your population is willing to talk to people. Every time I’ve gone there I’ve had at least one negative aggressive interaction with one of your citizens. I’m a large man with a beard and tattooes up to my neck, I’m a pretty intimidating looking dude paired with the Canadian politeness we’re known for. I do not understand how this keeps happening. And I see you guys do it to eachother too! It’s fucking wild.
Who the fuck is this asshole?
Hahahahahahaha nailed it bud
My Canadian friends would be proud. Both of them!
Go fuck yourself. /s
Just kidding, but yeah, we suck as a people. But I'll be friendly to ya when you land in my neighborhood.
It should be pointed out that MOST Americans I met were not like that. But it’s a large enough amount that it’s always been a noticeable difference from home.
As an American I think it’s largely that we generally suck at dealing with negative emotions. For many that means bottling it up and being kind anyways, but we have the assholes and you learn to walk away, or clap back, or whatever works for you and they just get angrier at being dismissed. They aren’t mad at you, they just suck and we’re bad at helping people not suck, especially since they tend to love guns
Fuck clapping back in a country with that high a level of access to guns and that little mental health access. Anyone could have a gun and I'm not playing that game. I'm not usually too confrontation adverse but I'd change my name to Mat (First name Floor) before arguing with a weirdly aggressive American.
That's very surprising. Where have you visited?
I’ve been to Montana, Texas, Florida, Seattle, and Tennessee and Las Vegas most recently. Also worked at a tourist town with lots of Americans for several months in Canmore and the Americans there seemed to have a similar attitude.
You're pretty much just missing Mississippi, New Jersey, and Boston and you'll have made a complete circuit of all the places with the most assholes. Hard luck.
By chance do you experience this mostly at bars?
The only one that happened at a bar was in Montana.
lol, that checks out for Montana
Yeah it’s very surprising to me as well. As a life-long resident of one of the states mentioned, having lived in both major cities as well and small-medium towns, I don’t think I’ve experienced this “aggression”
Sometimes the base level of aggression or the base level of inflection is way higher than what you're locally tuned for.
Anecdotally I have found even business conversations with people from the US to be over the top. Especially through the sales cycle. There is a lot of hype that I need to adjust for in comparison to vendors in the UK, Europe and Asia.
It's not a bad thing, it's a social standard. I probably appear quiet reserved and shy by comparison.
Example?
I give you my silly example. We were on a work trip with a college. We were talking in English. I said something like: I wanna try a hash brown! Never had one.
This dude replies to a conversation he wasn't part of: THEY ARE JUST POTATO! very angrily.
Yeah.. I know... Turns out I love potato
You think an American wouldn’t also regard that interaction as weird?
Maybe!
My anecdote is just that, an example.
There's a lot of regional variation in what people do or don't find to be "aggressive".