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[-] Signtist@lemm.ee 45 points 1 month ago

A buddy of mine got his first girlfriend in college after a family friend noticed that his single niece also liked manga and anime and introduced the two. I was very jealous of his attractive, nerdy girlfriend-turned-wife for several years until I finally got on a dating site and found love for myself.

[-] Sabata11792@ani.social 6 points 1 month ago

My family friends do not know any other nerdy weebs...

[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 3 points 1 month ago

I finally got on a dating site and found love for myself.

Luckyyy! I was on them for over a decade, but because of my location there's a body of water separating all the cool people I'd see on there from me... Everyone around me is like the literal opposite of me.

[-] Signtist@lemm.ee 7 points 1 month ago

I dunno how you went about it, but I've given some pointers to friends who weren't having any luck with online dating, and a lot of them were being too passive about it, basing their potential match choices mainly off of "vibes" and sending mostly generic opening messages - the quantity-over-quality approach.

While I was on the site, I spent hours a day going through every single person's profile - looking it over to really get as best of an understanding of the person as I could - and if I took interest in a few points, I'd send a message personalized to them based on what I saw on their profile. I also made sure that my own profile was well fleshed out, filling every field with well thought out responses, and putting up pictures of me hanging out with friends and doing activities like cooking and going to an amusement park.

Some, though not all, of the people who followed my advice eventually found success through dating sites. If you haven't tried all this, I'd suggest giving it a shot. If you have, sorry for being presumptuous, and I hope that you find who you're looking for eventually.

[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 2 points 1 month ago

I spent hours a day going through every single person’s profile - looking it over to really get as best of an understanding of the person as I could - and if I took interest in a few points, I’d send a message personalized to them based on what I saw on their profile. I also made sure that my own profile was well fleshed out, filling every field with well thought out responses

I appreciate the advice, but I did all of this as well! I just don't have the pictures of adventures because that's not me lol I used to do a lot of hiking, but I've noticed a lot of profiles mention "I don't care about your hiking or catching fish" (I don't fish, but it was a common thing I'd read.) I think it's just the kinds of people around me are too different than I am.

My self image definitely doesn't help either. I'm of the age where everyone is a professional and I'm just a worthless shitbag factory supervisor.

[-] thanks_shakey_snake@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago

Being a factory supervisor isn't a worthless shitbag job.

[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 2 points 1 month ago

It sure pays like one lol a bit better than a lot of other jobs an "uneducated" schmuck like me can get I suppose. I think it's just how society views some types of jobs that leaves me feeling worthless.

[-] thanks_shakey_snake@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah well society is an asshole and personally I ignore most of what it says.

You're in a position where you can affect whether the people around you feel like a worthless piece of shit, or like a valuable, appreciated human being. If you're usually doing the latter and trying to avoid the former (and make it right when it does happen) then you're not a worthless piece of shit.

You deserve to receive that too, and I'm sorry that you aren't.

[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 1 points 3 weeks ago

You’re in a position where you can affect whether the people around you feel like a worthless piece of shit, or like a valuable, appreciated human being.

That is actually how I operate, I'm always advocating for the guys I work with and buy them breakfast or something after a push. I always make sure to thank them for their help at the end of the day. It's a bit easier as I work with them as opposed to over them and I think they see that. It helps that I get to point to the office as the "other" that is making life difficult as opposed to being part of it as well lol

[-] Signtist@lemm.ee 2 points 1 month ago

That sucks, bud. I hope your future love makes their way to your living room eventually!

[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 2 points 1 month ago

Thanks! I always keep a window open just in case! Lol :P

[-] knacht1@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago
[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 1 points 1 month ago

That too lol but really the Long Island sound. A lot of people from Connecticut seem up my alley, but they're an expensive ferry and hours and hours away...

this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2024
1169 points (99.1% liked)

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